A place for my non comedy writing to live.

Click the link! Poetic Stories

Something I wrote for a Facebook beta app.

How can I tell if someone is lying to me?

To preface this answer I would like to say nothing can ever be a given but here are some key things to look for. A key to help you in your search for truth is to make sure the person is comfortable, accomplish this with some non-threatening small talk. You will want to establish a base line in order to compare how they react to what you are about to ask them. A lot of people like to think they are good at lying, they think they are good actors so that leads to a good indicator. Anything that seems to be over acting to "sell" you on something is usually a good sign. Any emotion lasting longer than usual is usually the person trying to sell you on what they are saying. They want you to see what they are trying to convey in order to cover up the truth, this leads to over exposure with emotions. Same with eye contact, a lot of people think that liars wont make strong eye contact, this is false. Especially since so many people think this. When someone is making overly strong eye contact, they are once again trying to sell you on what they are saying and also gauging to see if you believe what they are telling you. Also if your question requires any memory recall their eyes will move, different areas mean different things for recall but that's not important for determining if they are only lying. If they don't break eye contact when they should be recalling a memory they are lying. Exactly repeating what you asked within their answer is also typical of a lie. For example; "Have you ever kissed him?" Response; "No, I have never kissed him." As opposed to a normal response of "No." The biggest signs of someone lying are them trying to overly prove they aren't. When someone tells you something don't respond right away. The liar gets nervous about the silence and will try to prevent you from putting things together. They will start to add on to the story in order to win you over. Distancing language is also a great window into whether they are deceiving you. Think of distancing language as making that person an object, or someone they do not know. Example; "Did you go to Jason's house last night?" Response; "I didn't go over to that guys house!" Instead of just saying "No" or "Of course not" they showed the rigid repetition like I mentioned earlier, but they also distanced themselves from the subject by saying "that guy" as opposed to "Jason" which in their mind would indicate familiarity when they want to convey to you distance. A hard one to use is head nodding. When someone is saying yes but shaking their head no there is a clear conflict going on in their mind. Always go with the head nod, as it is their subconscious mind answering the question honestly. I say this one is hard because it can be a very small head nod which is hard to read. Also if the question has many questions in one the head nod could correlate to a specific part of the question but not the the entire line of questioning. For Example I will mix the two prior examples to show what I mean. "Did you go over to Jason's last night? Have you ever kissed him?" The person you're talking to could be shaking their head yes while saying no but the head nod could be only correlating to the question about kissing. They said no over all but you don't know if they are lying about everything or just a part of the multi-faceted question you chose to ask. Like I said earlier nothing full proof, and make sure to establish a base line with them to see how they react to questions and how it changes when the questions are important ones. I hope this helps in your search for the truth. Some things to note though is everyone will lie once in awhile, don't let searching for lies consume you or ruin your personal relationships. Some of the small things are better left in the dark. Also when it's someone you care about it will make it harder to detect things because you want to believe them.

These were only a few easy ways, If you would like to learn more about lie detection or just emotion detection in general this is a good site to start. Paul Ekman is who I studied and he is also who the show "Lie to Me" is based on.
http://www.paulekman.com/

Little Known History Fact

The Sieg Heil was created by Hitler out of spite after someone left him hanging on a high five. If it was a Jew that would explain a lot...

On Haiti

This was my response to people complaining about donating money to Haiti. Their main points were we didn’t hold a telethon for 9/11 or Katrina. My friend Gracie (who is nicer to idiots than I) addressed this issue. The other ones were we need to keep money in the U.S. because of the deficit.

GRACIE:

they had a telethon for both, silly

also,and i’m not diagreeing with you about taking care of our own, but more are suffering in haiti than 9-11 and katrina combined. it’s ok to spread the wealth to other countries.

ME:

People are donating their own money so either way if you feel people are suffering here or somewhere else its their choice which people in need get it, no one is being forced to donate to anyone. Just because TV time is taken up who gives a shit. The way I feel about this is if you didn’t donate money to 9/11 survivors or Katrina survivors (which I know most complainers on this issue did not) you cant use it as a high and mighty excuse to get on other peoples cases for what they are doing with their own money. Its OK to spread our wealth to other countries because we do it all the time when we buy random shit we don’t need thats made by other countries. If you really want to practice what you preach don’t buy anything that has any sort of parts made outside of the U.S. until that day comes anyone being upset about giving money away to help save lives because we “need the money more” is a hypocrite in my book.

http://lawry-martinez.tumblr.com/

Christian College

My new article on "Christian College" is up @ http://www.cracked.com/funny-2686-christian-college/

New Article

Here is the new Article I wrote for Cracked.com about the show "Glee" http://www.cracked.com/funny-555-glee21/